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Attending Church with an Individual with Special Needs

February 25, 2013 by Julie

Some days Skylar really struggles with going to church.  Yesterday, as I sat in worship, I got to thinking about why it is often difficult to take an individual with special needs to church.

It is difficult to explain the fears that many parents of special needs children have in taking their children into a worship service.  I hear from many families that they gave up going to church a long time ago!

Why is that?  Well, let me share with you my own thoughts on this matter.  Let me start off by saying that I am not speaking for all families that have a child with special needs, just MY family!  So here we go!

1)  PEOPLE STARE

This is a biggie!  I can’t even begin to tell you about the stares that we get.  You would think that it would be better in church, but nope..it isn’t!  This seriously saddens me!  I understand people’s curiosity, but for the love of all that’s holy, quit staring!  This wasn’t as much of an issue with us when Skylar was younger, but as she has grown into her teenage body, it has become more of an issue.  When you have a younger child in service who is a bit restless people don’t even think twice about it, but when you have a child who is taller than her mom and the age of a young high schooler, people are staring when she is hugging me tightly, holding my hand, rubbing her face against mine for that deep pressure input, or moving “a bit more than she should” during worship.  You know what?  If you can’t move during worship, when can you move?  One thing I won’t ever do is tell Skylar that she can’t dance during worship or tell her that she is singing too loud!  That is how she worships and I will never try to change that!  

2)  PEOPLE ARE JUDGEMENTAL

We do make Skylar stand and join us during the worship segment of church.  Some days she adamantly says “I am NOT singing with you today!” but we still ask her to stand and read the words on the screen.  

When it comes time for the message, we allow Skylar to use her i-pad (with the volume completely silenced). Some of you might think that is wrong and that is ok, but until you’ve walked a mile (or a quarter of a mile for that matter) in my shoes, then please keep your judgements and opinions to yourself!  This keeps Skylar happy and entertained so that Chris and I can listen to the sermon and be encouraged by God’s word!   My guess is that most people see Skylar on her i-pad, think that she is some teen that is bored, make a snap judgement about our parenting abilities, and then give us dirty looks, roll their eyes, or make comments loud enough for us to hear them.  Guess what?  When this happens, most people would be so hurt and angry that they wouldn’t darken the doorstep of your church ever again!  But oh no…not me!  I have been known to turn around and say “Just so you know, my child has autism!” which in turn usually leads to a horrified expression and something along the lines of “I’m so sorry!  I had no idea!”.  My point is not to shame people, even though that is often what they are trying to do to me, instead it is to educate people.  I hope that you will think twice before making snap judgements.  Church should be a safe place for people, instead many people feel more judged at church than any other place they go.  

 

3)  MOST CHURCHES DON’T HAVE PROGRAMS FOR INDIVIDUALS WITH SPECIAL NEEDS

When we meet other families with children who have autism and they find out we go to church, one of the first questions they ask is “Does your church have a special needs program?”  None of the churches that we have attended here in Prescott have had such a program.  This is something that we, as a church, need to step up and do something about.  This would be such an amazing ministry and blessing to families in our community!

Several months ago we were talking to some friends of ours that are church planters, who are very aware of Skylar’s needs.  The pastor said “Julie, as a church body, we are failing your family!”  I appreciated his candor.  He then went on to ask a question that I had never been asked in over 10 years of having a child with special needs.  ”What can we do as a church to serve families and individuals with special needs?”  Here are my responses:

-Churches need a buddy system!  We need individuals who will step up and hang out 1 on 1 with our kiddos during service.  Most of the time, most churches only have childcare/Sunday School for children through 5th grade.  Even though Skylar is in 8th grade, she wants to be with children that age.  Why not let her attend those classes?  If she had a buddy, whether it be an adult or an older member of the youth group, she could enjoy their lesson and be happy in that classroom.  The buddy doesn’t have to be the same individual!  Imagine if 4 people stepped up and said “I’ll take one week a month and hang out with Skylar!”  That would be awesome and I can guarantee you that not only would they be a blessing to us, but Skylar would be a blessing to them.  What a great thing to be teaching our youth!

-Churches need to come alongside families that have individuals with special needs and get to know them!  Many of us have learned more about patience, love, forgiveness, mercy, and grace than we could have ever imagined by parenting a child with special needs.  I, for one, know that my faith has grown by leaps and bounds this past 11 years.

So there you have it!  These are the reasons that we often find it tough to take Skylar to church. I pray that you will be open to getting to know individuals with special needs at your church!  I am confident that they will bless you far beyond anything you ever imagined.  Their joy is contagious!

This past Sunday was just like most Sundays!   Skylar woke up in one of “those” moods.  She immediately started saying she didn’t want to go to church. Unfortunately, it set my mood for the morning and I was just dreading going into service.  As I stood during the first worship song, Skylar LOUDLY whispered “I’m NOT singing with you today mom!”  I tried to clear my mind of the stress and sadness and I immediately prayed that the Lord would comfort me.  I also asked Him to bless sweet Skylar through the music.  I remember questioning whether or not I was doing the right thing by continually forcing her to come to church and wondering if she gets anything out of it.  The third song we sang was a mix of an older worship song and the chorus to Hallelujah (Skylar calls it the Shrek song as it was sung in the first Shrek movie).  As I closed my eyes to focus on the chorus, I suddenly heard Skylar’s sweet soprano voice carry over most of the voices around us.  My heart was overwhelmed with joy at the sound of her praising God!  As a tear rolled down my cheek, I thanked God for such an immediate answer to prayer, for comforting me, and for Skylar, who is such an amazing blessing to our family!  I truly believe that the Lord gave me a glimpse of what hearing the angels singing will be like!  

Whatever you do today, make it great!

JuJu

 

 

 

Posted in Everyday | Tagged , , , , , | 5 Comments »

Wishing You Love, ALL Year Long!

February 14, 2013 by Julie

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So those of you who know me well, know that I am not a big fan of Valentine’s Day. Why is there ONE day during the year to show your loved one that you really love them?  I totally believe that it is a day that merchants can charge $100 for a boquet that you would normally get for $15.  Don’t get me wrong…I love flowers, chocolate, and tokens of affection as much as the next person, but it means a heck of a lot more to me when Chris brings me those things on a whim, in July!  I am extremely blessed to have a husband who shows me and tells me that he loves me every day of the year.  For that, I am truly thankful!

Now that I have all that out of the way, I do like to do fun love themed things for the girls around Valentine’s Day and now that they are being homeschooled, I try to still do Valentine’s with them as that was one of their favorite things to do at school. Since they are not getting a ton of individual cards this year we made sure to get them a fun card.

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I will also admit that Valentine’s brings some of our favorite candies packaged together.  What other time of year, besides Halloween, can you get Twix and Snickers together in fun-sized packages?

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I have an entry table that I decorate around the different seasons throughout the year and during the month of February I do decorate it in a fun love theme.  The subway art hanging above the table came from the lovely ladies of Eighteen25.  I love their blog and all of their fun ideas.  I actually have a subway art for just about every season, holiday, etc.  They all are housed in the frame and I just open the back and rotate them.

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Each year I add to the mix and this year I made these yarn-wrapped LOVE letters. You can find the tutorial HERE.  I will just say that they were not as quick and easy of a project as I would of liked, but I do love the finished product.  The frame with the “love u” art also came from Eighteen25.  That frame also houses multiple 4×6 sized holiday themed prints.  This makes a really fun gift that keeps giving all year long! You can find the links for the subway art and 4×6 framed art HERE.  The heart shaped candy dish is just a bowl from Target that I adhered to a candlestick that was given to us as a wedding present.  I glued them together with E6000, which can be found just about any place where craft items are sold (Michael’s, Hobby Lobby, JoAnn’s, Wal-Mart).  That was another really simple idea I saw on the Eighteen25 blog.  Their blog is truly one of my favorite, go-to places for projects.

This year we actually put a box of goodies together for my sweet friend, Heather who is experiencing her first Valentine’s without her husband.  As many of you know, going through a year of “firsts” after the loss of a loved one is so very hard.  We wanted to shower Heather and her kiddos with love as they go through this day without Buddy.

I do hope that you have a beautiful day with your loved ones, but most importantly, I hope that you shower those loved ones with love and affection all year long!

Make it great!

JuJu

Posted in Everyday, Holiday Fun | Tagged , , | 1 Comment »

Pamper The Skin You’re In! Guest Post

February 13, 2013 by Julie

Hi everyone!  It has been an extremely busy February so far with homeschooling, travelling, working my It Works business, and keeping our home in order.  I don’t know about you, but I could use a little bit (or a lot) of pampering!

Today I am thrilled to have Michelle Pino of Skana Salon, a luxury spa in central New York, sharing some great tips on how to get that spa pampering in your own home, for a fraction of the cost!  Michelle also enjoys cooking, fashion, and all things beauty related.

Pamper the Skin You’re In

 

With Valentines Day approaching, love is most likely in the forefront of your mind. For women, love comes naturally.  We spend much of our time caring for children, friends, parents, siblings and co-workers.  This Valentines Day, why not turn some of that love inward and give your skin a luxurious dose of affection with some special pampering?

Often women use the excuse of being short on time and money as a reason for not indulging themselves with refreshing and rejuvenating beauty treatments.  Setting time aside for a spa-like treatment isn’t always possible, but you can work nourishing beauty treatments into your regular routine without much effort.  For beautiful, glowing skin it’s important to focus on hydrating your body from within as well as externally. Proper hydration does wonders for tired skin and helps vamp up any topical treatment by working from the inside to nourish your skin as well as your whole body.

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Internally
Drinking water should be your first priority for obtaining healthy skin. Not only will it improve the appearance of your skin, it will make you feel fabulous! Many women report the taste of plain water deters them from drinking enough.  Why not try a fruit infusion instead?  Simple to make and easy to drink, fruit infused water will quickly turn into one of your favorite pampering indulgences.  It’s wonderful for your overall health as well as your skin!  One favorite, especially during the cold months of winter, is a lemon mint infusion.

Ingredients
-1 gallon water
-6 Lemons, zested and seedless
-10 sprigs of mint

Directions
Combine all of the above ingredients into a large container and allow them to steep for at least six hours. If you like a strong lemon flavor, put the squeezed rind into the container to steep with the rest of the ingredients. If you find the mint flavor too strong for your liking, you can reduce the amount used.  If you prefer it stronger, add a bit more to taste.  You can strain this mixture with a fine mesh strainer to catch any seeds and mint leaves. This infusion is most refreshing when served chilled over ice.

Externally
Healthy skin also needs some pampering on the outside with regular exfoliation. Removing the dead, tired cells from the surface of your skin will reveal the healthy, glowing skin underneath.  Using a simple, homemade body scrub will rejuvenate your skin without breaking your wallet.  Try using extra virgin coconut oil combined with raw sugar. Mix one part oil to two parts sugar.  While the coconut oil smells divine on its own, you can also add a drop or two of an aromatic essential oil to boost the pampering factor.  Rose oil, jasmine and lavender are all wonderful choices, but remember: a little goes a long way.

Mix your oil, sugar and fragrance together in small bowl with a wooden spoon. Scoop the mixture with your hands and start rubbing it first into your driest areas. Using small circular motions, gently scrub your entire body and then rinse off with a warm shower.

Your new skin will be glowing, healthy and ready to enjoy the best Valentines Day ever!

Thank you so much to Michelle for sharing ways that we can take great care of our skin!  I’ve been looking for some great infused water recipes and the lemon and mint recipe that Michelle shared is one of the easiest I have seen!!

I’d love to hear what you do to pamper yourself!

Here’s to a great year (and beyond) of taking care of ourselves!

Make it great!

JuJu

 

 

Posted in Everyday, Healthy Living | Tagged , , , , | Leave a Comment »

January 2013 Wrap Up

February 2, 2013 by Julie

Here’s a glimpse at what’s been going on with our little family.

January started off with sickness for all of us:  bronchitis, pneumonia, and sinus infections.  We went through 4 boxes of tissue in 36 hours.  CRAZY!

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When Skylar feels bad, she insists on sleeping on this mat.  This is pretty much where she spent most of her days and nights.

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Sickness brought a LOT of television watching for us.  We got rid of our satellite t.v. last summer so we watched a couple of new shows on HULU and Netflix.

Oh Downton Abbey…how had we not met before?

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And this show is totally addicting!

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With the start of a new semester in school, we started a new curriculum!

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We are LOVING this curriculum!  Both the girls really love the art lessons.

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They also love the cooking segment each week.

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After studying the state of Massachusetts, we made a Boston Creme Pie.  It was delicious!

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I also had the opportunity to attend the It Works Global conference in Tampa.  One word:  INSPIRING!

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I got to dress up for a party one night of the conference.

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The night before I flew out to Tampa, I stayed at my sister’s house.  I loved taking silly pictures with my niece, Rebecca.

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Jenny, Jeff, Chris, and I also enjoyed a date night out when I returned home from my trip.  It was great!  The four of us don’t get to go out by ourselves very often.

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And last, but certainly not least, we finally got therapy services set up for Skylar here at home.  No more driving 4 hours round-trip to Phoenix every week.

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So there you have it.  A month filled with illness, travel, and new adventures.  It was crazy, but it was good!

I can’t wait to see what February holds for our family.  I’m planning on doing lots of reading, crafting, and wrapping!

You can read my full post on It Works! HERE

I’d love to hear what you all have been up to!

Make it GREAT!

JuJu

Posted in Everyday, Homeschooling, It Works!, Wrap Up | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Looking Forward To Learning!

January 1, 2013 by Julie

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Happy New Year friends!  I’m excited for all the possibilities that 2013 holds!  I must admit that I’m happy to close the door on 2012, and move forward into 2013.

As I sat trying to think up goals for 2013 and a word to focus on, the word GRATEFUL kept coming to mind.  I wanted to focus on being grateful and giving thanks in each and every situation of my life (good & bad).  So last week I settled on the word grateful!  Just when I thought I was all set the word LEARN kept popping up in my everyday life and in my mind constantly.  Learn is such a powerful word! It truly encompasses everything I want to accomplish, not only in 2013, but for the rest of my life.

When I first thought about what I wanted to learn this year, many things jumped out at me. I do want to learn a lot of different skills and crafs, but I also want to learn things that can’t necessarily me measured, photographed, or physically touched.

So this year I want to LEARN:

-how to knit

-how to play the cello

-how to be more grateful for my everyday life

-how to give grace, even when I don’t want to give it

-more about my community

-how to be more patient with my girls

-how to find balance in my life

And most importantly….

-I want to learn how to fully trust God with EVERY aspect of my life!  I want to learn to let go of my insecurities and doubts and trust that God is in control and remember that He has NEVER let me down!

Here is to a great year of LEARNING!!

Make it great!

JuJu

“.. I am a student of life, and don’t want to miss any experience. There’s poetry in this sort of thing, you know–or perhaps you don’t know, but it’s all the same.”

― H.P. Lovecraft, The Complete Short Stories of H.G. Wells

Posted in Everyday | Tagged , , , | 4 Comments »

The Antics of our Elf on the Shelf, Gracie!

December 29, 2012 by Julie

Hello friends!  So excited to share the adventures of our Elf on the Shelf, Gracie with you today.  I need to give a shout out to my grandmother and Aunt Carol who shared the Elf on the Shelf craze with our family last Christmas.  I admit that I was originally against adding in this tradition, but I am really glad that we decided to do it!  The girls LOVED Gracie, but I’m pretty sure that Chris and I had even more fun with Gracie’s antics.

For those of you who are new to my blog, both of our girls are on the autism spectrum.  They are very literal and we usually know exactly what they are thinking, as it just spills out!  Hailey cracked me up with her almost daily comments about what Gracie had done.  I’ll add her thoughts below the pictures.

WHAT A “CUTIE”

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This was our first morning with Gracie and the girls thought she was pretty funny. Hailey jumped in on the fun and continued to take parts of the orange away during the day.

GOING FOR A SWIM

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“Good thing she didn’t eat all the Cheerios, Skylar would have been mad!”-Hailey

ENJOYING THE VIEW FROM ABOVE

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“That’s hilarious!  She must not be afraid of heights like you are mom!”-Hailey

HIDE AND SEEK

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TAKING A BUBBLE BATH

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We went down to Phoenix for an overnight trip and the girls didn’t want to take Gracie with us.  They wanted to see what she would do while we were out of town. This presented a challenge for Chris and me.  Gracie got all settled into her bubble bath right after the kids got in the car.  When we returned home the next day, the marshmallows were pretty stiff from sitting out for about 24 hours.  Hailey said, “Well that can’t be comfortable!  Why would she want to bathe in hard marshmallows?”

TAKING OVER

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“I can not believe that Gracie knocked the angel off the tree!  That should definitely put her on the naughty list!”-Hailey

SUCH A JOKER

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CELEBRATING SKYLAR’S BIRTHDAY

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“I can’t believe Gracie didn’t eat all of her cake!  It was SO good!  Can I have the rest?”-Hailey

JUST A SIP

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“Well that’s a waste of a perfectly good straw!”-Hailey

A LITTLE LIGHT READING

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This is a really blurry picture, but Hailey’s comments were some of my favorite.  She said, “Oh my word!  Why is she reading Twilight?  Who told her those books were good?”

MISSING SANTA

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REPLACING OUR STOCKINGS WITH UNDERWEAR

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“Wow!  I hope those are clean!!!”-Hailey

SUGAR HIGH

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GREEN MILK

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“EWWW!  How’d she do that?  That is really weird!”-Hailey

VANDALIZING

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“What a waste of toilet paper!  You’d better save that, I’m sure we’re going to need it!”-Hailey

Thanks for reading about our adventures with Gracie!  The girls were excited that she left a note saying goodbye and that she would be back next year.

Blessings for a great New Year for all of you!

Make it great!

JuJu

Posted in Holiday Fun | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

December Daily: Day 1

December 2, 2012 by Julie

This year I am going to document our daily December happenings here on my blog! December Daily is a concept that has been made wildly popular by Ali Edwards.  She is an amazing mom, story-teller, documenter of life, and human being. You can check out her December Daily posts HERE.   I will incorporate the photos that I share here into both my Project Life album as well as a small mini-book.

We all know how busy the Christmas season can be, and because of that I want to add my photos and my journaling here so that I have it documented.  We are doing several fun activities during December, including our advent boxes, Ann Voskamp’s Advent Jesse Tree devotionals/activities, and silly visits from our Elf on the Shelf, Gracie.

ADVENT BOXES

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I made these cute little boxes several years ago and have displayed them several ways. This year I have them lined up on our piano.  Each box contains an activity for our family to do together.  Some of the activities are big and some are simple.

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We started off December with a full day of activities!  The first Saturday of December in Prescott is the Annual Christmas parade and Town Hall lighting.  Prescott is a pretty small town and the parade had a lot of neat elements.

Old Cars

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Little Ponies

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The Shriners in their Cute Cars

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Chris’ Cadets

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And our favorite part of the parade…friends!

This is Hailey’s friend, Maggy.  I love that this drum is bigger than she is!

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This is Hailey’s buddy, Owen.  They hung out the entire parade.  Thankful that Hailey has sweet friends!

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After a little break, we went back to the square and waited for the Annual Courthouse Lighting.  The lighting is one of our favorite events.  I wrote about it last year, here.

The square was packed with people all waiting to hear the Christmas story read straight from the Bible.  Several local school choirs sang various Christmas carols throughout the reading.  At the very end, the courthouse and all the trees surrounding the courthouse lit up.  We were thankful to be sharing this experience with several of our great friends.

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Following the lighting we had our friends over for home-made cocoa and cookies.  I made THIS amazing recipe that I found on Pinterest.  I have had WAY too much fun pinning various Christmas recipes and ideas.  You can check out and follow my pinterest boards HERE.

Thanks for stopping by today!  I know I’ve been absent for awhile, but I’m looking forward to sharing a fun month with all of you!

Make it great!

JuJu

Posted in December Daily | Tagged , | Leave a Comment »

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