Dear Ann Coulter

Dear Ann Coulter,

I’ve long thought that even though we, as Americans, are politically divided, that underneath it all, we are all still human beings.  Human beings that want what is best for this country. Human beings that care for others. Well, that thought ended last night!  I can’t even begin to put into words my utter disappointment when you took to Twitter and called the president a “retard”.  Really?

When you use that word,  you hurt thousands of individuals with disabilities.  One of those individuals is my sweet daughter.  We were told over 10 years ago that she had “mental retardation”.  These past 10 years she has taught us more than we could ever teach her.  She has taught us patience, joy, encouragement, forgiveness, hope, acceptance, and unconditional love.

Ann, our daughter is NOT a joke!  She is more than you could ever aspire to be! Open your eyes and your heart.  And for the love of all that’s holy, please think BEFORE  you open your mouth or pull out your smart phone.  Think of our sweet girl and know that you hurt her, and all those like her, with your insensitive and hateful words!

Ann, meet Skylar!  You could learn a LOT from her!


JuJu ( A mother who will stop at nothing to protect her children!)

My Favorite Things About Homeschooling (So Far)

Last week I shared a post about what I’ve learned since starting to homeschool with a virtual academy.  If you missed that post you can read it HERE.   We are now in our 7th week with homeschooling and we are definitely into a better groove.  We still have days that are tougher than others, but overall we are doing well!  When I get overwhelmed or discouraged, I like to focus on the positives of our situation.  It makes me feel so thankful for where we have been and how far we have come. So,  today I want to share with you my favorite things about homeschooling so far.


-There is nothing better than witnessing the moment when your child “gets it”!  I have been so blessed to be able to witness many light bulb moments since starting school 7 weeks ago.  I have found that most of these moments for my girls happen during math.  It truly excites me to know that I’m a part of my child’s learning!


-In the program that we are using, the girls typically have a short assessment at the end of each lesson.  It is usually anywhere between 6 -10 questions and tests whether the girls have captured the information from their lesson.  Immediately upon completing the assessment, a screen pops up with their score.  I absolutely love the reactions that we see when they get 100%.

Skylar squeals with excitement and screams “I got 100!”.

Hailey usually says “I totally ROCKED that lesson!” or “Oh yea, I am SO smart!”.  I love hearing those words!


-Pretty early on we did a science lesson on the scientific process.  You know….observations, forming a hypothesis, testing, dependent and independent variables, conclusions, etc.  Well, a few days following our lesson Hailey opened the refrigerator and said “If I don’t put these tacos in the fridge, then they will go bad!  How’s that for a hypothesis mom?”  I loved it!  Since then, she has formed MANY hypotheses!

-We also did a lesson in history/geography on longitudes and latitudes.  Chris and I have been watching reruns of the show Alias.  In one of the episodes they were using a GPS device and the longitude and latitude coordinates popped up on the screen.  Hailey was walking by and quickly said “Hey!  Did you see that?  They just showed the longitude and latitude of where they are.  Now they will be able to be rescued!  That’s cool!”

I truly love these moments!  They may seem little to some, but they are HUGE to us!  I also love that I have been able to share these moments with other parents that have children with special needs and that they rejoice with us.  One thing having 2 girls on the autism spectrum has taught me is:



-This was my least favorite thing about getting the girls up and ready to go to school each day.  Both of our girls move at their own paces and trying to get them to move faster would only lead to frustration, tears, and bad attitudes.  By the time I got the girls dropped off at school I felt like I needed to come back home and take a nap. Chris even mentioned this week how much he doesn’t miss the morning chaos.  He said that the absolute chaos often sent him to work in a bad mood and it would take half his morning to really relax and be settled.


-We are pretty routined, but it is nice to know that we can pick up and go when needed.  My sister moved this past week and we went down to Phoenix on Monday and Tuesday and helped her unpack.  The girls worked solely on Math and Language. Hailey also worked on Spanish.  I knew that this would most likely stack the end of our week heavier, but it allowed us to help my sister and her family.  We also got to see my niece swim in her high school swim meet.

-We don’t have to follow a strict schedule each day.  As long as we complete all our lessons for the week (5 Math, 5 Literature, 5 History, 5 Spanish, 3 Science, and 3 Art) we are good.  If we choose to do all 5 Math lessons on Monday, that is fine! This week we did only Math and Language on Monday and Tuesday because those are the subjects that the girls can work on a bit better on their own.  That allowed me to help my sister a bit more.

So these are my 5 favorite things about homeschooling so far.  I look forward to adding more things to this list as time goes on.

Do you homeschool?  I’d love to hear your favorite things about homeschooling! Please share them with me in the comments.

Hope you all have a great weekend!

Make it great!


Skylar’s New Wheels!

I am so excited to share with all of you that Skylar finally got an adaptive bike! Let me share how Skylar came to be riding this fancy set of wheels!

Many of you might recall that I shared here on my blog several months back about how we were trying to raise funds for an adaptive bicycle for Skylar.  The bike we were originally looking at was priced at about $1,600.  Shortly after writing that post I received an e-mail from a couple, Henry and Yvonne, who were in a Bible study with my parents when they lived in Virginia years ago.  Both Henry and Yvonne are avid bikers and they wanted to come alongside us and help us pick out the perfect bike for Skylar.  We kept in touch over the next several months via e-mail.

Over the course of those few months my mom did a jewelry fundraiser and we sold autism bracelets to help raise the funds for the bike.  We also had multiple people who donated money to her bike fund as well.  We had raised a significant amount of money and were encouraged until the beginning of May, when Skylar’s physical therapist actually priced out the specific bike Skylar needed and it was over $2,200. That definitely took the wind out of our sails!  After seeing the cost of that, I told Chris that we needed to specifically pray that God would provide exactly what we needed!

A couple of weeks later while I was in Tucson, I received another e-mail from Henry and Yvonne.  Henry told me about a gentleman, Bill, that he had read about on one of the biking message boards he regularly reads.  You see, Bill has a passion for biking and a heart for individuals with special needs.  Bill had already built bikes for individuals with Autism, Down Sydrome, and Cerebral Palsy.  The best part was that Bill lived in the Phoenix area which put us in pretty close proximity to him.

Henry asked if I would be interested in connecting with Bill to see if he could build a bike for Skylar.  Of course I said “YES!!!” and within hours I had already heard from Bill and set up a meeting for the following week.  I actually sent a copy of what the physical therapist had stated she needed and information about Skylar’s cognitive delays, low muscle tone, and issues she has with her feet.  I was overjoyed and so encouraged when he wrote back and said that he would be able to build a bike for her and for a fraction of the price!

It took about 3 weeks for the bike to be built and we were so excited when we got word that it was ready for pick-up!  The pictures below are of Skylar and Bill, who is also known as “Yoda”, and the first time she got to ride her bike out in front of his house.

I can not begin to describe to you the range of emotions that I felt as I watched her peddle her new bike around the cul de sac.  Her huge smile made my heart burst!  I loved hearing her words as she rode her bike.

Look guys! I’m riding a bicycle!

I totally love my new bike!


Thank you Mr. Yoda for building me this bike!  It is perfect!

We left the next morning for Albuquerque and were thrilled to take the bike with us so that my parents could watch her ride.  I asked my sweet friend Sara, who was my co-worker in the health office when I was the school nurse, if she would come up and snap some pictures of Skylar and her new wheels!  Sara just started her own photography business, Two Brunos Photography, and I have been an admirer of her photography skills for years!  If you live in the Albuquerque/Rio Rancho/Santa Fe area and want to have pictures taken, check her out!  You won’t be sorry!

I’m so excited to share some of my favorite photos that Sara took with you.

And this is my most favorite!  She was on her way back to the car and singing her heart out!  It truly was just the most perfect moment!

I am thankful for so many things!

I am thankful for Henry and Yvonne who put us in touch with Bill!

I am thankful for Bill Irvine who made our dream of getting Skylar an adaptive bike a reality!  Thank you just doesn’t seem like enough!

I am thankful for my friend Amy, from Ohio, who spread the word about our efforts! Her family and friends were so generous in their donations!

I am thankful for so many of you who bought autism bracelets and other jewelry to help us raise the funds for the bike!  And for those of you who sent money with a simple note “I want to help Skylar!”

I am so thankful for my mom and dad who continue to pour their love and energy into this sweet girl who has brought us so much joy!

I am so thankful for Sara, who gave her time and talents to capture these pictures of Skylar and her new wheels!  You can like her page on Facebook here!


I am so thankful for all of you who continue to pray for Skylar and Hailey and the long journey that we have ahead of us!  We couldn’t get through without all of you and those prayers!

If you would like to get in touch with Bill “Yoda” Irvine regarding having a bicycle built and for pricing information, please shoot me an email and I can send you his information.  You can do so by either clicking the link in the upper right-hand corner of my blog or sending me a message to iamjujublog (at) yahoo (dot) com.

As always, I’m happy to answer and questions you might have.  You can either leave them in the comment section or send me an email.

I hope you have a wonderful week!

Make it great!


A Bit Of Exercise!

I know, I know!  It’s been a long time since I’ve posted a No Filter Friday!  For those of you who are new to my blog, this is the time that I love to share things that the girls have said or done that have left us red-faced, laughing, and sometimes speechless.  I have mainly shared stories of Skylar and her lack of filter here on my blog, although Hailey also lacks a filter, just to a lesser degree. In many ways it is refreshing how brutally honest the girls are, but it can be embarrassing. This is by far my favorite thing about having 2 girls on the autism spectrum.  The “lack of filter” is hilarious!  If you are new to my blog or missed previous posts, you can click here for a complete list of No Filter Friday stories.

Yesterday, we took Hailey to her gymnastics class at the Y.  We sit in this little room off to the side so that I can see Hailey and so that Skylar can see the TV.  Picture a room the size of my kitchen with about 8 adults and 15 kids in it.  That will give you an idea about how packed in there we were.

Skylar sat with a bunch of little kids most of the time watching Toy Story 2.  Not long before gymnastics was over she got up and walked over to the area in front of me that houses multiple recumbent bikes.  What a great idea to have excercise equipment so that we can workout while our kids do!  Now just to actually get on the bike instead of sit behind it, but I digress!

Skylar looked at the bike and said to me “Mom, I’m going to do a bit of excercise!”.  I responded with “That’s great honey!  Way to go!”

After a few minutes of pedaling she let out a large sigh and exclaimed very loudly:


I just burst out laughing and said “Your biscuits are burning? What are your biscuits?”

Skylar gave me the look that only she can give.  The look that blatantly screams You don’t have a clue!  She then said:  Mom, you know what I’m talking about!  My bum, my bottom, my behind, my butt!  You know….MY BISCUITS!

Thank you Skylar for the lesson on all the things we can call our bum!

Gotta love this girl!

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

Make it great!


The Loss of Our Friend Buddy!

These are our dear friends the Hopkins!  Buddy was tragically killed last Thursday, June 21st by a hit and run driver who hit him from behind while he was jogging.  We can not even begin to put into words our grief over the loss of this amazing husband, father, son, and friend.

I met Heather in 2008 when she walked into my health office at the elementary school where I worked.  Their family had just moved to our town for Buddy’s job and Heather was struggling.  We talked for quite some time and during that conversation I learned that her son, Garrison had autism.  I told her about Skylar and I could tell that she was instantly relieved to know that she had met someone who was walking a similar path as she was.  As I sat there chatting with her, I was overwhelmed with the need to get up and hug her.  I got up from my desk, told her I needed to hug her, and the rest, as they say “was history!”

We spent countless hours with the Hopkins family.  Buddy kept us laughing with his hilarious comments and that one-of-a-kind smirk.  We were sad to see the family move away from New Mexico but kept in contact all these years.  We enjoyed all of their return visits and I was so blessed to be able to go to Texas and spend time with their family a couple of summers ago. Heather is truly one of my very best friends!

Buddy loved his family more than anything on this earth!  His love for Heather and the kids shined through in his daily life.  He coached his girls’ softball teams and he was constantly taking Garrison camping with the Boy Scouts.  He also had a passion for Special Olympics and was at every event to cheer Garrison on!  Buddy was constantly serving others!  What a legacy he left behind!

Two days before Buddy was killed, Heather and I had spoken and we made plans to meet up in Flagstaff next week as their family would be travelling on vacation.  We were so excited to see each other as quite a bit of time had passed since we had last seen them face-to-face.  Instead, we will now be going to Flagstaff to attend Buddy’s funeral and support Heather and the kids in any way possible!  It is truly unreal!

I can not even begin to imagine the tough days that Heather and the kids have ahead of them.  While I know that they will have a difficult journey emotionally, it is my heart’s desire that they will not have to struggle financially as well. No, money will not take away the pain of this tremendous loss, but I’m hoping that the outpouring of love and support shows Heather and her family how much people care! This is where all of you come into play!

I am asking all of you who are willing and able to donate in one of the following ways to help out Heather and her sweet family!

1)  A fund has been set up at the American Airlines Credit Union in Texas.  You can donate at any one of their branches under “The Buddy Hopkins fund”!

2)  You can also donate via paypal. This is an easy way for all of my international readers to donate!  You can send any donation to:

3)  You can mail a check made out to Heather Hopkins to me and I will forward them on to her.  The address to mail them to is:

Julie Coryell

2200 Lone Oak Way

Prescott, AZ 86305

I challenge everyone to donate $20 (or more if you can) to this precious family!  And I am asking that all of you share this post with as many people as you can.  Please help me come alongside this sweet family and help ease the financial burden they face.  Those of us who have children with autism, or any special need for that matter, know the financial difficulties that come with that.

I’m so thankful for each and every one of you!  So many of you have supported our family!  Heather has been one of my biggest supporters since entering the blogging world and I want to do anything I can to help her now!

Make each day count!


*Please share this post via Facebook, Twitter, email, or any way you can to help spread the word about how we can help Heather during this difficult time!*

The Toothbrush

Happy Friday!  It has been quite awhile since I have posted a No Filter Friday story. Life has been hectic, as I’m sure it has been for all of you.  Thank you for all of the sweet e-mails, messages, & text messages that have said something like “We’ve missed the No Filter Friday posts!  We need our dose of total honesty!”

For those of you who are new to my blog, this is the time that I love to share things that the girls have said or done that have left us red-faced, laughing, and sometimes speechless.  I have mainly shared stories of Skylar and her lack of filter here on my blog, although Hailey also lacks a filter, just to a lesser degree. In many ways it is refreshing how brutally honest the girls are, but it can be embarrassing. This is by far my favorite thing about having 2 girls on the autism spectrum.  The “lack of filter” is hilarious!  If you are new to my blog or missed previous posts, you can click here for a complete list of No Filter Friday stories.

Today’s story is not embarassing, but actually shows Skylar’s inability to lie.  Or maybe I should say her inability to lie well!  Many times when we ask her if she is responsible for a mess or the “mysterious” disappearance of the cookies from the pantry, we don’t even have to wait for an answer….her face gives her away immediately!

A couple of weeks ago I was sitting at the dining room table when Chris and I had the following exchange:

Chris:  Julie, do you know which one of the girls used my toothbrush?

Me:  No. What makes you think one of them used your toothbrush?

Chris:  I put it in my drawer after I used it and it is now on the counter.

Me:  Well, I doubt it was Hailey because she is such a germaphobe.  Skylar should be coming upstairs in a few minutes, just ask her.

A few minutes pass and Skylar makes her way into the bathroom where Chris and I are getting ready.  Chris picks up his toothbrush and says “Skylar, did you use my toothbrush?”

Without a moment’s hesitation Skylar responds with:

That is YOUR toothbrush??

Chris:  Well, that answers that question!

Me:  Why did you use dad’s toothbrush buddy?  Your toothbrush is right here.

Skylar:  It is such a pretty toothbrush so I decided to use it.

Chris:  Well, it’s your toothbrush now!

Skylar:  Oh good!  I like that toothbrush!

Me:  Chris, maybe if you didn’t have such a girly toothbrush this wouldn’t have been an issue!

Chris:  Whatever!  That’s what I get for living in a house full of girls!

I hope all of you have a wonderful weekend!

Make it great!


Happy Cinco de Skylar!

Ten years ago today was by far one of the worst days of my life!  I had awoken early as I was singing at church with my friend Louanne.  I went in to check on Skylar and found her unresponsive.  I immediately picked her up and brought her into the living room.  Within minutes she started seizing, 911 was called, and we were swept away by ambulance to the hospital.

Chris, Jenny, and I sat in a darkened emergency room waiting to see the pediatric neurologist.  She had already had a CT and an MRI.  As we waited to hear whether a brain tumor or a structural abnormality were the cause of the seizure, I prayed that the Lord would equip me for whatever road we would walk.

Outside of our room at the nurse’s station, there was music playing, streamers, and chips, salsa & queso for Cinco de Mayo (we lived in Tucson).  I remember saying “I will never, ever think of Cinco de Mayo without remembering this day!”

So last year on Facebook I mentioned that each May 5th we celebrate a sweet girl who has overcome so many different obstacles.  We thank God for each and every day that He has allowed us to have her.  My sister-in-law, Diane quickly replied “Happy Cinco de Skylar!”  I loved that so much!

So today I wish you a Happy Cinco de Skylar!  Please join us in celebrating an awesome kiddo who has brought so much joy to our lives!

Make it great!

Differently Beautiful!

A few weeks ago I was down in Phoenix for Skylar’s physical therapy evaluation. Afterwards, we met up with my sister at her favorite local hangout, Luci’s.  Before we headed out for the 2 hour drive home I ran to use the restroom. The beautiful apple artwork above was hanging on the wall.  As soon as I saw it, I immediately had so many thoughts start running through my head.  I ran back to the table & grabbed my phone so that I could snap a picture. Oh yes I did!

Many of you might ask “What is so special about these apples?”

Well, I immediately saw my girls in these apples!

-They are both different in many ways from many of the people we come in contact with, but they are absolutely beautiful souls!

-Unfortunately, many people see individuals on the spectrum (or any individual with special needs) as “less than” other human beings.  They feel a sense of pity.  When I look at the picture above I think how the red apple is different from the rest, but it is still an apple!  My girls are still beautiful, unique human beings!  They aren’t “less than” anyone!

-Different isn’t bad! Different is different! Sometimes it is hard, but many times it is beautiful!

As I drove home I thanked the Lord for the beautiful reminder of how differently beautiful my sweet girls are!  It was just what I needed!

Thanks for letting me share!


I Am JuJu to “I Wish I Didn’t Have Asperger’s”: AutismPositivity2012

Dear “I Wish I Didn’t Have Asperger’s”,

I’m so sorry that you feel this way!  I will be honest, I do not have Asperger’s, but I do have two daughters, one with Autism (13) and one with Asperger’s (11).  Both of my girls have asked “Why do I have autism/Asperger’s?” That is not an easy question to answer and I’m sure that other parents might answer that question differently than I would.  Here is what I have told my girls:

1)  I don’t know why they have Autism or Asperger’s!  Plain and simple!

2)  I do believe that God is in control.  I believe He has wonderful plans for both of their lives and that both of them are capable of truly amazing things!

3)  I won’t ever stop advocating for them and whatever it is they might need!

4)  There are many others all over the world that also fall on the autism spectrum and they are NOT alone!

I cling to these things every day!  Although I don’t personally have Asperger’s and can not know how they feel (unless they share that with me specifically), as their mom, I hurt when they hurt!  I am so thankful for the wonderful individuals on the spectrum that I have met through Facebook and Twitter.  I am thankful that they share their struggles and their triumphs!

My prayer for you is that you will find the support that you need!  Please know that you are NOT alone!

My 11 year old Aspie recently said:

“Mom, I’m not weird, I’m just different!  And that’s ok!”

Blessings to you!


This Autism Positivity Flash Blog Event is the brainchild of Thinking About Perspectives, a group of bloggers committed to increasing autism awareness and acceptance via open and respectful dialogue.  We are:  30 Days of AutismOutrunning the StormThe Third GlanceAspie KidFlappiness Is,Quirky and LaughingLife on the SpectrumFairy Tale ForgottenThe Aspie Side of Life, and Inner Aspie.

Guest Post: Skylar’s Journey From a Father’s Perspective!

Hello there!  In honor of April being Autism Awareness month, JuJu (Julie) asked me to guest post on her blog.  Having read each and every one of her posts, I have a keen understanding of how impossible it will be to live up to her level of talent so I’m not even going to try.  You’ve read Skylar’s and Hailey’s stories through her eyes, so I thought today I would let you see some of Skylar’s through mine.

My name is Chris.  I don’t have a cool nickname like JuJu (though I have been called Coo-Coo before).  To really understand my story you have to go back to the beginning.  I can distinctly remember the day in May 1998 coming home from work to our little two-bedroom apartment and Julie meeting me at the door with a grin.

Julie – “You know that $40 I spent on pregnancy tests?”

Me – “Umm…yeah…”

Julie – “Well, that last one wasn’t a waste.”

Me – “Umm…what?” (I’m sometimes a little slow on the uptake!)

From that day on I was on fire to be the greatest daddy there ever was.  I could not stop thinking about all the fantastic adventures we had ahead of us.  I’ve played baseball/softball since I was 7, so of course I would be my new son/daughter’s t-ball coach as soon as they were able to play.  I couldn’t wait for conversations about how the world works, why the sky is blue, why I believe in Jesus, etc.  Oh the times, we would share.

I also began thinking even further into the future.  What would she/he be when they grew up?



No, definitely not a lawyer!! 😉

Nurse like mommy?

In the Air Force like daddy?

There were definitely great things ahead for baby Coryell.  I was absolutely sure of it.  I thought of her graduations, both high school and college (as valedictorian of course!); of walking her down the aisle and giving her away.  Of anxiously pacing the waiting room as she gave birth to my 1st (2nd, 3rd?) grandchild.  I couldn’t wait!

The day came and the doctor told us that it was time for the baby to be born.  I was attending the University of Arizona at the time and had a final on that day.  Julie told me that it would take many, many hours for the baby to come and I should go take my final.  I walked into that classroom and found my instructor, “I’m here to take the final, but if this phone rings,” I said, holding up my 5 pound cell, “I’m outta here!”  My professor realized that my mind would not be on the test and told me to get lost and take the final in a few days.  I called the hospital and told Julie that I was on my way back.

2 hours later, I walked into the room holding two bags from Target.

Julie – “Where were you?  I had horrible thoughts of you lying in a ditch somewhere while our baby was being born!”

Me – “I had to pick up a couple things for the baby.  First, this really neat dancing Pooh bear.  I also had to get the baby these awesome little sports balls.  Look here’s a basketball, a football and a soccer ball!”

Julie – “What if she’s a girl?”

Me – “Girls can play football too!”

I remember watching Skylar being born.  I remember saying, “This is the coolest thing I have ever seen!”  I remember the cord wrapped around her neck.  I remember the odd purple color.  I remember the very anxious minutes while the hospital team worked on her.  I remember the moment when finally, mercifully, she cried for the first time.  I remember taking her home.  I remember feeling shocked and astonished that they would send this little creature home with us and just expect us to know what to do.  I remember the absolute and total unconditional love I had (and still have) for my child.

I also clearly remember the day, in May 2002, finding Skylar unresponsive in her bed.  When the seizure began I experienced a kind of helplessness that cannot be adequately described.  Holding my shaking 3-year old daughter in my arms while waiting for the ambulance to arrive was the worst moment of my life.  When I became a dad, I knew that my job was to protect her; to take care of her.  To lift her back up when she fell; to wipe away the tears when she cried.  To fix things.  The realization that this was something I could not fix rocked me to the core of my being.

Another day that remains crystal clear in my memory is the August evening of that same year when Julie told me that Skylar had been diagnosed with autism.  I was in my dorm at Officer Training School at a bank of phones that the officer trainees used to call home during the evenings (cell phones were not allowed).  My only experience with autism was the Tom Cruise/Dustin Hoffman movie, “Rainman”.   I told Julie that everything was going to be okay.  We would do what we had to to help Skylar become all she could be.  Inside, however, I was thinking, “No.  That’s not possible.  The doctors are wrong.  Skylar will be just fine.”  I told myself that so often and so intensely that I actually began to believe it.  Autism was a phase of life that Skylar would go through and eventually she would be “healed” and all those dreams would still come true.

At this time I had no idea of the long road ahead; of how, at times, my life would be consumed by diet and medications and treatments and supplements and therapies.  I had no idea that my life would become consumed by Autism.  Julie and I went in different directions following the diagnosis.  She became very proactive.  She bought books and did online research.  She learned everything she could about this condition and how we could help Skylar.  I fell more and more into denial.  As the doctors told us that Sky might never speak; I still pictured her giving her valedictorian address.  When she wouldn’t allow anyone to touch her; I still thought about the kiss after I lifted her wedding veil.  Letting go of the dream I had of my daughter for the reality of who my daughter is was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.  It didn’t happen for me all at once.  I didn’t wake up one day and decide, “Today is the day.  I will now accept the fact that Skylar will live with Julie and I for the rest of our lives.  She will most likely never get married, never have children, and never become that mythical child I once dreamed of.”  Rather, it was a slow release of these expectations that turned into an acceptance that whatever the future holds for Skylar, it will be enough.  It was finally releasing Skylar’s future back into God’s hands where it belongs and understanding that her purpose will be fulfilled through Him.

For those of you still struggling, I wish I could offer you a roadmap.  Turn left at denial and then drive straight ahead until you reach acceptance.  If only it were that easy.  My advice is only this; give yourself time to grieve the loss of those expectations.  Don’t misunderstand me in this.  Don’t allow yourself to love your child less because of their difficulties.  Instead, understand that it can be very difficult to move past what you had hoped for and this can be a very lengthy process.  I can promise you that you will feel a great weight lifted off your shoulders when you finally release those expectations.

Skylar is who she is.  Although Julie and I will never stop working to help her be the best Skylar she can be, I now know that that will be enough.  I love Skylar for who she is.  I no longer mourn a child that never was; I rejoice in the one I have.

Thanks for letting me share!


*Don’t forget to enter JuJu’s giveaway for a set of Goosie Cards. Click here and leave a comment on that post!